Best Places on Campus to Throw a Personal Pity Party

Whether you’re a senior who’s facing the impending doom of the real world, a freshman who’s realizing that life doesn’t actually get better after high school, or anyone in between, you probably have a semi-reasonable justification for crying.

Luckily for you, UConn is chock-full of excellent places to cry! While this is a college campus and privacy is extremely limited, a little creativity can go a long way when you’re setting up for a good cry. The list below is only a small sample of the nearly infinite locations perfect for your own personal pity party. Feel free to add your own favorites in the comments!

1. Homer Babbidge, Level A: Yes, it’s technically a quiet study floor, but if you’re sobbing in solitude and nobody hears you because no one is ever on Level A, are you really disrupting the quiet? Level A is so dark and drab that even if you didn’t go there to cry, you will start crying from all of the sadness and emptiness that this floor of the library has to offer. As an added neat feature, Level A has those moveable book stacks that you can hide in, provided that you can figure out how to move them.

2. Music Building, Basement Rehearsal Rooms: Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a door propped open to this building for all 24 hours of the day, so no matter when you need to cry, there is always a spot for you to do it. Plus, you can play the piano while you’re crying! How artsy and convenient! If you’re concerned about other musicians/dramatic artists hearing you, perhaps bring a script for a well-known tragedy. If someone comes by to look at you strangely and ask if you’re okay, you can act like you are a perfectly sane person who is rehearsing for a community theater production.

3. The Cemetery: Now that it’s warmer out, the cemetery by Northwest is the perfect place for picnics, jogging and crying! While the warm weather will probably mean more people, you can easily disguise yourself as a mourner to avoid stares, questions or judgment. All you need are some realistic-looking mourning garments, and maybe a flower or two if you’re feeling ambitious. Choose a tombstone to stand by, and let it all out. Only the jerkiest of jerks would ask a person why he or she is crying while sitting next to a tombstone.

4. The Woods Behind That Church on Dog Lane, Past the Buckley Parking Lot: While this is technically off-campus, it’s still closer to Buckley and Shippey residents than most on-campus locales are. Cut through the parking lot behind Hope Lutheran Church and you’ll find a bridge that leads to a winding path. Bring a camera if you want to pretend to be artsy while you’re crying, or don’t; no one will see you there either way. This is a great place for those who like to walk while they cry, but there are also plenty of stumps and a few fallen trees to sit on when you need a break.

5. The Shower: The Shower is the perfect place for the quiet criers who’d rather not know whether their eyes are wet from shower spray or from despair. It’s also a great place for the exhibitionist criers among us who just don’t care anymore. If this sounds like you, then go ahead, let it out! Just don’t be surprised when no one on your floor will make eye contact with you.

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