Flowrida’s, I mean Flowrider’s… Excuse me, when I heard about Flo Rida’s new album, “My House,” I had no idea what to think. The name seemed familiar, but nothing really came to mind beyond a vague association with school dances and rainbow strobe lights.
Turns out I wasn’t far off. “Low” (“apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, the whole club was lookin’ at her”) was definitely one of the top 10 most listened to songs in my middle school’s dimly lit gymnasium when it came out in 2008, up there with “Free Bird” and “Cotton Eyed Joe.” “My House,” if nothing else, keeps in line with that tradition.
Flo Rida’s album consists of seven watered down party songs for people too young to show I.D.’s and mild enough that even your hawkeyed social studies teacher couldn’t take offense to them. Listening to “Once In A Lifetime” and “Here It Is (feat. Chris Brown),” another relic from the past, really brings comedian Aziz Ansari’s quip about club music designed to convince drunk people they’re having a good time into focus. The generic beats could lull anyone into complacency, the perfect time to sell them just one more drink.
Lyrics wise, “GDFR (feat. Sage the Gemini and Lookas)” and “Here It Is” seem to focus on the mind-blowing concept that things are going down for real while “That’s What I Like (feat. Fitz)” fuses Flo Rida’s toothless brand of rap and a fun-esque YOLO anthem into a hybrid that could never match “We Are Young.” He also seems to have forgotten to credit Alvin and the Chipmunks for their work in “Once In A Lifetime.”
That being said, there’s nothing exactly wrong with “My House.” It doesn’t do anything adventurous enough to elicit that kind of reaction; as “GDFR” told us, it’s just happening and it is, in fact, real. On Spotify, it was pretty easy to confuse the album’s content with the ads that run every few minutes. The previews for Death Cab for Cuties’ new release were more distinct and, even to someone who loves them, all of their songs sound the same.
The chorus of “My House’s” title song, at least — “baby take control now, we can even slow down, we don’t have to go out” – was a love ballad sent straight to my introvert’s heart. It’s good to know Flo Rida won’t take it personally if a few of us decide to stay in when he comes to campus April 20th. Although, if the date is anything to judge by, I’m pretty sure his audience will enjoy whatever he puts in front of them.
75/100, or C for showing up to class.